The recent article I shared about why dealer leaders need to be in the oar distribution business really struck a chord.
I think that is because so many leaders have lived it. I know I have.
In the dealership world, it is easy to become the person everyone looks to for the answer, the approval, the next move, or the final decision. You start out trying to be helpful and involved. But over time, without realizing it, you can train the team to wait until you weigh in.
That is why oar distribution matters.
Strong leaders should not be the only ones rowing the boat. Their job is to make sure everyone else has an oar, understands where the boat is headed, and knows how to help move it forward.
But there is another side of this conversation we need to talk about.
Sometimes a leader hands someone an oar and the person does not take it.
Not because they are lazy.
Not because they do not care.
Not because they are not capable.
Sometimes they have been trained, especially in the dealership environment, to believe their job is to wait for someone else to make the decision.
When People Don’t Take the Oar
Years ago, when I was CEO of a dealership, we had an open Location Manager position. During that time, I stepped in and acted as the Location Manager until we could fill the role.
At that location, we had a parts person who was very good at his job. He was bright, great with customers, and full of ideas.
But he was extremely frustrated with me.
I thought I was giving him room to lead. I thought I was empowering him. I thought I was letting him make decisions that were well within his role.
He saw it very differently.
He expected me, as the acting Location Manager, to make almost every decision. He would come to me with questions, problems, ideas, or customer situations, and he wanted me to tell him exactly what to do.
In his mind, that was my job.
In my mind, many of those decisions were his job.
So we were both frustrated.
He thought I was not leading.
I thought he was not taking ownership.
The real issue was that we had different expectations of what our roles were supposed to be.
Eventually, I had to sit down with him and explain it clearly.
I told him, “You are very capable in parts. You know your department. You know your customers. You understand the issues better than I do in many cases. I do not want to make every decision for you. I want you to make most of these decisions. My job is to support you, coach you, and help remove barriers.’
Essentially is not to take the oar out of his hands every time the water gets rough.
That conversation changed things. Not instantly. It took time. But it helped clarify what empowerment actually meant.
Empowerment Without Clarity Feels Like Abandonment
This is where a lot of dealer leaders get stuck.
They think they have empowered someone because they stopped giving instructions.
But from the employee’s perspective, it may not feel like empowerment. It may feel like the leader disappeared.
That is an important distinction.
Empowerment is not saying, “Figure it out.”
Empowerment is saying, “Here is the decision you own. Here are the guardrails. Here is what success looks like. Here is when I want you to involve me. And I trust you to move.”
Without that clarity, people hesitate. They come back for permission. They ask questions they already know the answer to. They wait for approval because they are not sure what authority they really have.
In a dealership, that delay is expensive and felt by others.
Technicians wait.
Parts sit.
Work orders stall.
Deals get delayed.
The dealership does not suffer because people are not working hard. It suffers because decision-making is unclear.
Define the Decisions Before You Expect Ownership
Some employees have learned to wait because past experiences taught them that waiting was safer than acting.
Maybe every decision used to get second-guessed. Maybe mistakes were punished harshly. Maybe the prior manager wanted everything run through them. Maybe employees were told they were empowered, but criticized when they made a call.
Over time, people learn that permission protects them.
So when a leader says, “I want you to own this,” the employee may not believe it at first. They may keep bringing decisions back to the leader, not because they lack ability, but because they are testing whether the oar is really theirs.
That is why clarity matters.
A parts person should not have to guess which decisions they can make. A service manager should not have to wonder when they need approval. A sales manager should not be unclear about pricing authority, customer concessions, staffing decisions, or process changes.
Dealer leaders should be asking:
What decisions should this person make without me?
What decisions should they make and inform me afterward?
What decisions require discussion before action?
What decisions must stay with senior leadership?
Those categories matter.
When everything requires approval, the leader becomes the bottleneck. When nothing requires discussion, the dealership creates unnecessary risk. When authority is clear, the team moves faster and smarter.
That is how oars work. You do not just toss them into the boat and hope people figure it out. You make sure each person knows how to use theirs.
The Leader’s Response Matters
If you empower someone to make a decision, and then punish them the first time they make a decision differently than you would have, do not be surprised when they stop deciding.
This does not mean leaders ignore poor judgment or accept bad decisions. Accountability still matters. Standards still matter.
But there is a difference between coaching a decision and taking the oar back.
A coaching response sounds like:
“Walk me through how you made that decision.”
“What information did you use?”
“What would you do differently next time?”
“Here is the factor I would want you to consider in the future.”
Taking the oar back sounds like:
“Why didn’t you ask me first?”
“I would never have done it that way.”
“Just run these things by me next time.”
One response builds decision-makers. The other creates permission-seekers.
Dealer leaders have to decide which one they want.
Keep Handing Out Oars
Dealer leaders need to distribute oars. But they also need to understand that some people may not grab them right away.
They may need clarity.
They may need confidence.
They may need proof that ownership is real.
They may need coaching before they are comfortable rowing.
That is still leadership.
The answer is not to take the oar back and start rowing for them. The answer is to teach them how to row, define the direction, and stay close enough to coach without taking over.
Because when people finally understand that the oar is theirs, everything changes.
Decisions move faster.
Managers grow stronger.
Customers get served better.
The leader gets out of the weeds.
The dealership builds real capacity.
Strong dealer leaders do not just hand out responsibility and hope it works.
They clarify, reinforce, coach and protect it.
And when someone hesitates to accept the oar, they do not assume the person cannot row.
They have a conversation that helps them start.
